At least pressure makes you into a PERFECT basketcase, right? Seriously, though, should you be a praying person, I could use the help right now. Talk about panic attacks all day long. I'm starting to shake now.
On another note, it amazes me how I can have a perfectly normal, deep conversation with someone who I haven't spoken to much for months. It's sort of a relief, rather. Things are different between us, yes. But it's an OK sort of different.
I love how my grammer is totally incorrect. Well, more like the way I start my sentences. I use fragments a lot. Which is why I will never be an English major. Maybe a minor, though.
Tomorrow is going to be a long, stressful day. It is not one which I look forward to. I think I said that before, but I'm saying it again. It will be OK, though. Everything will turn out fine and be for the best.
Not to mention that Tim Burton's Corpse Bride will be released on DVD. I bet I could go down to Walmart right now and buy it. But I think I'll wait until after class. Go to class from 9-5, you know, and then run over to the Bishop's office and have him give me another blessing (hey, I need all the help I can get right now). Then it's a quick drive to get my movie. After that the pressure will really be on.
I should just stop thinking about it.
Anyway, off to read a bit more about patience before I go to sleep. If I can stay awake, that is.
Image copyright Adele Sessler.
My list goes on and on with simple, common knowledge sort of things (like being a gentleman and opening doors, or trying to stay in shape, being a RM, worthy Priesthood holder, take me to the Temple, Loyal, Considerate, Understanding, providing for my spiritual, physical, as well as emotional needs, and being at least somewhat romantic), but I'd hate to bore you with all that.
I'm thinking of maybe minoring in English. I love to read. While photography would be my life if I could afford it (and if I knew whether or not I had the talent for it), reading is my passion. And writing. However, I've come to a new conclusion (which is turning into a daily sort of event). Here it is: I hate showing people what I write. Novels and publishing and becoming famous always come up in conversation.
"Are you going to try and get published someday?" my sister might ask me.
"No," I'll say.
"Why ever not?" someone else inquires. "You're good enough." (I beg to differ, but I don't argue that point. What I do is never quite perfect enough for me.)
"Because," I respond, "I don't want to be famous. I like the shadows too much. I feel safe in the shadows. The brightness of fame is too blinding, to sharp, has too much vulnerablity. I'd much rather marry someone famous than be famous myself. And even another's fame is a little iffy for me." And that's the end of that. While they never seem to understand ("Everyone likes their 15 minutes of glory!") they at least let me alone.
I need to get my photography portfolio together. I've got all the negatives picked out, I just need to get reprints and put them on slides. Don't know how to do the latter part, but I'll ask Bekah. maybe tomorrow during TLE. Deadline to apply into the program is next month, so time is getting short. Procrastination, I have realized, is a bad thing. It makes my life more stressful which has the inevitable result of me getting VERY SICK. I can't afford to be sick again this semester. It's funny. 3 years of highschool and I didn't miss a single day. Then Sr year I get two ear infections in one day and miss a full week. Ever since then I seem to struggle with going to class every day. Last week for obvious reasons, but the worst part is that usually I just don't feel like going to class. That was last YEAR, though. I did pretty well fall '05.
Wow. After midnight already! I suppose I'd better head to bed, then. I've had my mug of hot chocolate so there's nothing left but to take my nutritional suppliment (since I don't eat, you know), my luvox (because I've OCD and frequently get depressed as well as anxious), wash my face, brush my teeth, read my BOM, write in my journal, and sleep. Although, I may end up just printing this off on smaller sized paper and gluing it in. I've been known to do that before.
I enjoy thoughts, comments, and ideas, so if you would acquiesce to my request, I'd love it.
P.S. Did I mention that I like a good foot massage?