Friday, January 06, 2006
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even describe the pain! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Kill me now, please! Suffocating! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
But, seriously, my chest is REALLY sore. It hurts to breathe and then it hurts worse not to breathe and then it hurts worse because I wasn't breathing... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I don't even have any thing to take for this kind of pain. Tylenol won't do it. Alieve won't do it. Sudaphed's not gunna help. The end of the drugs I can take.
Good thing I left Jackson's when I did. There is no way I'd be able to drive now. I'm like... really dizzy and shaky and just plain sore. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm terrified of the doctor but I had probably ought to go in. I suspect it might have something to do with my anorexic tendencies, though. Eating dissorders are addictive, don't let anyone tell you otherwise because they'll be lying through their teeth. Or it could have something to do with my anxiety issues again. Or possibly depression. Heck, I'm just a living pile of emotional garbage that needs to be thrown out.
The shock of last night is getting to me as well. I hurt emotionally now, too, which hasn't really been a problem for the past two weeks. It just came on suddenly a few hours ago; I wanted to curl up into a little ball and just be invisible. Which I sort of was. And that didn't help matters any because no matter how badly I yearn to not be seen, I still want to be noticed. At least a little bit. Does that even make sense?
Aiaiai. I think I'll see what happens if I go pass out in bed for a while. If I even can. But Oksana's not home tonight to keep me up, so. I wonder where she went, anyway? Eh. I'll see her soon enough.
Ciao world of internet peoples that don't even read this
