Pink Lemonade <body> <body>

The Cardboard Box House
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
♦ 8/29/2007 11:09:00 AM 0 comments

The worst thing about being homeless (well, besides living on the streets, sleeping in the sewers, and eating out of dumpsters*) is that I have no address to have things mailed to when I need to get something online.

Good thing I get to move for reals tomorrow.

*Hey. Just because I'm not feeling well doesn't mean that my sense of humor/sarcasm/sardonicism has died.)

Post #500
Monday, August 27, 2007
♦ 8/27/2007 10:31:00 PM 1 comments

Go me. Actually, the vast majority of my posts you could probably just chuck and not even notice that anything was missing, but whatever. Including this one.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I can totally tell that I'm back in Cougar Town. I have little to no desire to spend money right now. I mean, sure, I just bought dishes and there are plenty of other things that I want, I just can't justify spending money right now. Even on food.* And today's experience in Target totally proved this point as I carried a movie around the store with me for quite some time and then decided right before I was about to leave that I just couldn't spend that kind of money for a while, so I left the store without having purchased anything. This is saying something; if you know me at all then you know how much I love movies, not to mention shopping.

Anyway, that is all. I think I'm going to go curl up in my little shell for the night and maybe watch a movie that my mother lent to me. Or read. Or maybe both. If I don't move, the shaking is quite so bad. I'll do my best to reappear in the world tomorrow, but I don't guarantee a blog post. So don't go planning your whole day based on that.

*K, that sounds bad. Despite what some people think, I do eat, pretty much on a daily basis, too. All I'm sayin' is that I can't justify buying more food until all the food I already have is gone.

Fortune cookie always wrong?
♦ 8/27/2007 08:10:00 PM 2 comments

So says the Siamese cat on Disney's Aristocats.
Happiness is around the next corner, wealth down the street

I think of it more as a cruel irony. Much like my dependence on -Oh, wait. I forgot. Kronk isn't really a part of this.

Thanks, Fortune Cookie. Thanks a lot.


Forgiving Oneself; a Svithe
♦ 8/27/2007 07:42:00 PM 1 comments

Svithe as promised.

Elder D. Chad Richardson

"Unfortunately, many Latter-day Saints today continue to carry the burden of past sins because they refuse to forgive themselves. President Howard W. Hunter (1907–95) observed: “It has always struck me as being sad that those among us who would not think of reprimanding our neighbor, much less a total stranger, for mistakes that have been made or weaknesses that might be evident, will nevertheless be cruel and unforgiving to themselves. When the scriptures say to judge righteously, that means with fairness and compassion and charity. That’s how we must judge ourselves. We need to be patient and forgiving of ourselves, just as we must be patient and forgiving of others.”3

Apparently, many individuals do not understand the importance of self-forgiveness in the process of repentance. The Lord, however, makes no exceptions when He declares, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10; emphasis added). This includes forgiving ourselves.

Without doubt, Satan uses this refusal to forgive ourselves as a means of enslaving us by turning past sins into addictions. He tempts some, for example, to believe that if they make themselves suffer enough, they will not return to the sin. This often leads, however, to self-loathing or self-abuse.

Satan tempts others to judge themselves harshly and to believe they don’t deserve to be forgiven, even when the Lord is willing to forgive them. Such individuals continue to dwell on their transgressions and mistakes, remembering the details and thus increasing the danger of repeating them. According to President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior.”4

People trapped in this cycle of sin, self-condemnation, and further sin, tend to become discouraged. Satan also uses discouragement to create addictions. A discouraged individual will be tempted to stop trying or to seek solace in more sin. In contrast, the Savior beckons us forward with the promise that we can become free from the chains of sin as we fully repent and forgive ourselves."

"Forgetting is part of forgiving. But forgiving oneself involves a special kind of forgetting. We don’t forget the sin and its effects; rather, the memory ceases to be part of how we see ourselves. For example, when Alma had been forgiven of his sins, he said, “I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more” (Alma 36:19). The fact that he could describe his repentance to his son Helaman showed that a memory was still there. But through Christ’s Atonement and forgiveness, that memory lost its edge of guilt and self-recrimination."


Shakin' Bacon
Sunday, August 26, 2007
♦ 8/26/2007 06:10:00 PM 2 comments

So, the other day (Thursday) I started on the higher dosage of my medication (it's not even the treatment dose yet). Ever since Friday, I've been really, really shaky. Seriously, my hands just tremble like crazy and as I was waiting to get in to see the Bishop this afternoon, my leg started doing the same thing. I've been getting dizzy really easily lately, too. I noticed this two weeks ago when I first stated the medication, but it wasn't all that bad. Now, though, I barley move and I have to close my eyes for a second until I can be sure I've caught my balance. I think we're going to have to try something else. Unless Dr. Kroger things that it'll pass, anyway. He knows more about this stuff than I do. Still, I really haven't noticed any difference yet. I know it's only been two weeks and that it usually takes 1-2 months, but I was hoping for something to change (even if it were only to be a minor change) a lot faster than that. Anyway, I'll be calling Dr. Krog either Friday or Saturday to check up with him.

On that note, I've added a few links to my sidebar in the "about" section. You may have noticed already, I put them up last night after doing a few hours of research on my condition.

That's all for now. I'll be back later with a Svithe, I promise.


On the Docket
Saturday, August 25, 2007
♦ 8/25/2007 10:16:00 AM 0 comments

To do today:


Educate the Weak
Friday, August 24, 2007
♦ 8/24/2007 09:34:00 PM 0 comments

I tell you what, I sure am glad that all the Education Week people are heading out tomorrow. And I'm glad that I'm no longer dwelling in the sbitBoM. And that I don't have to clean again for a very long time (OK, like a week).

And I'm glad that the people who inspected my car BROKE it. Sheesh. And it passed? What? Hope I don't have to use my brights for a while, because they ain't wantin' to stay on.

Ummmm.... Oh yeah. I twisted my knee or somethin'. All I know is that my kneecap appears to be crooked and it hurts like the dickens.

I'm tired. That is all.

Ach! Crivens!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
♦ 8/22/2007 07:41:00 PM 2 comments

I hate moving.

I REALLY hate moving.

If I seem extra irritable this week, that's why. Be prepared for that should you find it in your heart the desire to talk to me in person. In fact, you might want to think twice about it. I am really not a happy camper right now.

Home, Sweet, Sweet Joyness, I'm Home!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
♦ 8/21/2007 11:00:00 PM 2 comments

After spending two very long days in one airport or another, I'm home (as in Santa Horhe). In approximately 12 hours I have a doctor appointment and after that I'll be going... yep. Back to the airport to fly northward. I am so ready do be done with flying. You have no idea. But, at least I can say I've been to Georgia and Texas now, eh?

The best things about being home:

*When I was in Virginia, I could hardly breathe due to the humidity. Seriously, it caused me great pain to take air into my body. It felt like something was crushing my lungs so that they couldn't expand and it was awful.

**I mean, it's not like I was eating plastic food or anything, it's just that I wasn't getting much in the way of home cooked meals, ya know? Granted, the Grandmother is a pretty good cook. We just weren't around the house much to eat meals there.

***As opposed to that nasty travel-size tube I took with me that was that nasty "original paste" flavor. Yuck!

Let there be no doubt that I am my father's daughter:
*I suspect some of my readers may be in the dark about this one. We don't actually know what it is that we do or why we do it, we just... do. It's like a hiccup, only not. You'd have to hear it.

**Don't ask me exactly what words/phrases I pronounce with an accent, just accept that I do and that it's a different from the Mother's side of my family.

***OK, so maybe length isn't hereditary. So what?

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Ach! Crivens!
Monday, August 20, 2007
♦ 8/20/2007 06:28:00 PM 0 comments

Nearly 2,000 pages later and my journey To and From the 2000 mile vacation is almost complete. Assuming I make it out of Atlanta in the morning.

Pray for me?


Terry Pratchett on Mercy and Sin; a Svithe
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
♦ 8/14/2007 09:00:00 AM 1 comments

Consider yourselves lucky that I am able and even want to post right now. Being that I'm approx. 2000 miles away from home, I was quite surprised to find that the location in which I am staying has wi-fi. Not that I've been using it a whole lot. Mostly I've just been lounging, around. Today, however, promises to be full of adventure (good or bad, I'm not sure yet- I'll find out when we get there), as does tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. And then, if my calculations are correct, it will be Sunday, so my only adventure on that day, really, will be driving a long distance to attend church. Monday, though, will be full of many hours in an airport and will hopefully conclude with me landing at my airport and finding my car and making it safely back to P-town. And then Wednesday next is full of driving again. As is Thursday next. And, if I'm exceptionally lucky, Friday next will be full of moving boxes and bookcases and things like lamps and plants and picture frames. Well, one way or another that will be the case, I'm just hoping to be able to move it all into a more permanent location than, say, a storage shed.

But I digress. My world travels and life plans (for the next two weeks) were not meant to be the point of this post. Actually, I didn't mean to include them at all, really, but it's sort of just happened and I think that maybe they want to be OUT THERE in the grand scheme of things that we call SPACE and.... Yeah, 'kay... I got nothin'.

So, onto my Svithe. I've been reading (or, rather, read for a day before I finished it) a book by Terry Pratchett called Carpe Jugulum (I know, interesting title for the name of a book which inspired a Svithe). For some background, this man named Oats is a priest of Om (one of many gods of the Discworld, but, for Oats, Om is the only god) and is traveling with Granny Weatherwax to Uberwald to go slay some vampires (sorta, you'd have to read the book and I'd really rather not spoil it for you). They get to discussing the religion of Om due to Oats singing one of the Omnian hymns. (P.S. I'm cutting a few things out, which should give you even more reason to want to find the book and, at the same time, helps me to get my point across a little quicker. I hope.)

On Mercy
"Nice tune," said Granny.
"It keeps my spirits up," Oats admitted.
"You take comfort from it, do you?"
"I suppose so."
"Even that bit about 'smiting evil with thy sword'? That'd worry me, if I was an Omnian. Do you get just a little sort of tap for a white lie but minced up for murder? That's the sort of thing that'd keep me awake o' nights."
"It's the version my grandmother taught me," said Oats.
"She was keen on crushing infidels?"
"Well, mainly she was in favor of crushing Mrs. Ahrim next door, but you've got the right idea, yes. She thought the world would be a better place with a bit more crushing and smiting."
"Prob'ly true."
"Not as much smiting and crushing as she'd like, though, I think," said Oats. "A bit judgmental, my grandmother."
"Nothing wrong with that. Judging is human. Bein' human means judgin' all the time. This and that, good and bad, making choices every day... that's human."
"And are you so sure you make the right decisions?"
"No. But I do the best I can."
"And hope for mercy, eh?"
The bony finger prodded him in the back.
"Mercy's a fine thing, but judgin' comes first. Otherwise you don't know what you're bein' merciful about."

On Sin
"Well, there are two sides to every question..." [said Oats.]
"What do you do when one of em's wrong" The reply came back like an arrow.
"Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant! You'd certain enjoy yourself at the Synod, anyway. They've been known to argue for days about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin."
"And that's what your holy men discuss?"
"Not usually. There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example."
"And what do they think? Against it, are they?"
"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
It's a lot more complicated than that-"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes-"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."


Tuesday, August 07, 2007
♦ 8/07/2007 07:57:00 PM 0 comments

Unless something insane happens between now and then, I won't be blogging again until after the 20th. I'm leaving my dear ol' Toshi to fend for herself pretty soon as I'll be leaving the state early Thursday morning to go visit family on the other side of the continent.

Besides, I haven't really anything important (nor of interest) to say lately, and I'm thinking maybe my last break was just not long enough.

Don't miss me. I'll return to you soon enough with stories to tell.

Monday, August 06, 2007
♦ 8/06/2007 07:19:00 PM 3 comments

I don't know... What do you think? I'm not sure it's going to work out for me.

*Edit (11:00pm) This one, I think, is going to stick around for a while. Input is still appreciated.


Banana Eyes
♦ 8/06/2007 02:45:00 PM 0 comments

Be on the lookout for a new template to appear soon (if it hasn't by the time you see this, anyway). I'm getting rather sick of the "Clean Blue" or whatever and am ready for a change.


Many Returns
Saturday, August 04, 2007
♦ 8/04/2007 05:03:00 PM 2 comments

I am (tentatively) back to the blogging world. Just so you know. Only, don't expect much from me. I'm going to be rather busy for the next three weeks or so (traveling and moving) and I've got a few things that I need to sort through yet. (Here's to hoping Tuesday is beneficial for the latter.)

Anyway, if you are wondering, socks make for an excellent source of padding when one has a ton of breakables to box up.

I am so ready to be done moving for the rest of my life. Or at least for the next few years.

P.S. While I'm thinking about it, can anyone explain to me why it is that Blogger has such issues as of late with letting me type? GAHH! That is reason enough to stay away from the blogoshpere!

Pictures worth a thousand words
♦ 8/04/2007 05:01:00 PM 0 comments

(And maybe a giggle or two)

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