Saturday, January 21, 2006
I found some great pictures today. I hope you enjoy them.
Is it possible to be spiritually schizophrenic? No, seriously, is it? I feel like I have another entity forcing cohabitation within my singular body at times. But I can't quite place WHERE the second one is. Or, maybe, it's just my body speaking rebeling against me, but I don't think so. You see, Nicole and I went to the Provo Temple today to do Baptisms for the Dead. (It was a wonderful experience, as always, and one which we hope to repeat every Saturday afternoon at one o'clock. Even if it so happens that we are in St. George or some other location at the time- we're planning a road trip to my home sweet home, see.) It was then that I got to thinking. Pain isn't me. I don't like pain. I can feel myself screaming and pleading to escape from pain. But there is something or someone inside of me that LOVES to feel pain. This is something that is begining to give me rather a complex. I would like to feel at one with my body (or whoever else it is inhabiting said structure). Harmony is a good thing. It sounds better than when you sing off tune (that's a metaphor as well, in case you didn't catch it).
I've also been thinking about poor Nicole today.
How her 21 birthday is in less than three months and she's been on a total of... maybe 5 dates in her life.
Very well. I admit. I was thinking of myself, first, as usual. Less than four months and I'll be two decades old having gone on one real date ever. No, I don't feel pity for myself, only frustration that the future of my life seems to be at a stand-still and that it's not going anywhere any time soon.
Men have it so much easier, I think. While we women have to wait for our future to come to us, Men have complete control. All they have to do is find one which they can eternally love. Women have to sort through all the suitors and do all the dirtly work. I'm not sure that it is entirely fair. But then, I guess, if everything were fair than I never would have won MY way when playing Candy Land as a small child. (I confess. I used to stack the deck to get all the cool cards in order. With one or two normal ones in between just so the game would last longer. However, that was before I learned the error of my ways. I have since repented and made baptismal covenants.)
Oh, darn 11:00. And I was supposed to try to be alseep before then. Oh, well. I blame it on the laundry
Post Script: should you ever need demotivating sayings, I've got plenty. Or you can quite simply visit one of my favorite places on the web,
despair.com. (Yes, it's click-able.)
