Wednesday, January 18, 2006
MY BOOK CAME! (This is my happy thought for the day.) Oh, I HEART Jonathan Stroud. I say, how could you not? Ok, I've only read two of his books, but just the same. I HEART him. Bartimaeus is my favorite. I think everyone should read that series. Happy sighing occurs in me.
I actually made it to Piano today. First time all semester (not that classes have been going for very long). I was bored stiff. Let me tell you. I should prolly be in the next level up, but easy A, I guess. I just hope Ruby picks up the tempo soon. That was way too slow. I can't play that slow.
So, Live at the Terrace was... special. Some guy got up and started making dinosaur noises. It was then that I decided it was time to leave. He was pretty good at it, though. Not that I've ever heard what a real dino sounded like, but his impression resembled the sound effects of a dinosaur that you get in a movie. Such as Jurassic Park or Land Before Time (wait a minute... maybe not that one).
After I left the Terrace I went to the housing fair. There are a few apartments/condos that look satisfactory to me. I emailed two or three companies and hope to get a reply soon. Not sure if I really am leaving Windsor Park, but I don't like it here. Yes, I love having a master bedroom all to myself and the furniture is good quality (carpet isn't, of course), but I haven't been very happy here. I think the only thing that has kept me from selling my contract and moving back to the Omni is my bishopric. Bishop Bryant is THE BEST bishop I have EVER had (although, being a dutiful daughter, I will claim that my dad was really the best and that Bishop Bryant comes in at a close second). He has been pretty helpful to me so far this year. I need to go talk to him again, though. My moods are coming on more frequently. Also need to call Dr. Dymock again. I haven't seen him in over a month and I think I need to maybe. Don't have classes on Fridays, so maybe I will schedule for then. No way can I ever get in to see him on a Tuesday or a Thursday.
Did I mention to you how upset I was last night? It carried on through this morning. It's what got me in my mood. Mostly. There were other factors that played into it, but mostly it was due to a certain event. Ok. I'll tell you:
Nicole called me out last night durring the middle of an Oprah clip from Oprah's 20th thingy-ma-bopper and told me that I HAD to see it! It was about this lady named Rudine who died from Anorexia Nervousa. So we all know I have an eating disorder (and if you didn't know that then you must be new to my life or my blog). You think I'm going to take that well? I was rather hurt. And rather upset. I don't think Nicole even thought about it, though. I think she just wanted me to see the story. So I'm not very upset with her. Just a little.
This is often times why I don't trust people. It just doesn't work out very well. Someone always does something stupid like that. But I know I probably do the same thing. Well, no probably about it. I speak my mind. I say it like it is. No sugary goodness. I'm learning to hold my tongue, though.
You know what, though, it's not like I believe myself to be fat. I know full well that I am far from fat. That I could use another 15 pounds on my body and still be OK. But I'll be truthful. I remember weighing 95 and I find it's a weight I liked. It's not healthy, though, and I know that. 110 is healthy for someone my height and age. I fear, though, that should I ever weigh much more than 110 I will find myself in a world of hurt, the pain of which will be brought on by my own doing.
But at least I am admitting to these things now, yes?
So Jackson this morning, in the very thick of my mood, told me that I'm a "very cute girl." Define "very cute," please. I believe he meant well about it. I suprised him, though, when I told him he is the first person to tell me that. Oh, sure. Parents say it all the time. Parents don't count. If they say their child is ugly then they are calling themselves ugly. Girlfriends don't count, either. You can never trust what one girl says to another regarding outward appearences. So, taking all that into accoung, Jackson is the first person to truthfully speak such words to me (I know him well enough by now to know that he would avoid the subject entirely if he couldn't speak nicely about it).
I need to start writing again. Blogging and daily journal keeping just isn't enough. The Rainman calls to me, but I just don't have the time, energy or ability right now to put it all on paper (or computer, as the case may be). The Nexus of Time also screams to be edited and finished, but I just can't do it right now. I haven't got the experiences I need for that one (if you know my life you will see that I write it into my stories very carefully). But I did write another poem the other night. Poetry takes less energy and comes to the fingertips like dew on rose petals in a springtime morning. Poetry is the song of my heart. Generally not the happiest music, but it is still music.
I feel like there were other things I was going to say, but they seem to have escaped the cage of my mind. I'll have to track them down and trap them in writing at a later period. For now, though, I desire dinner. (Well, my stomach does. My mouth does not.) Plus I am suddenly VERY tired. I should go to bed tonight. After I read for Bro. Parker's class. Tomorrow is going to be another long day. I have to, HAVE to, go to TLE. I promised Bekah, for one, and I AM taking it for credit so I really should go so that I can get my free 'A.' There is little better in this world than an automatic 'A' from BYU, if you know what I mean.
Food! I come to find you now!
