There are going to be a lot of volumes to this story, I can tell you that already. And, obviously, don't expect them to go in order.
I arrived in Iowa around 11 pm and was quite tired from flying, especially because there was a small child screaming on the flight from SLC to DSM. It was not cool and kept me from sleeping. Anywho, Love Duck (whom I went to visit, being the only reason I was in Iowa) and her friend Stewi came and got me from the airport. They had made signs for me but I BEAT them there because they had to wait for a train. So I was spared the embarrassment.
Tuesday, then, was my first full day in the Land of Never Ending Corn (except that there isn't any corn right now). Love Duck and I went over to her grandmother's house (across the street) for lunch because Grandma was the only one with Mac and Cheese in her pantry. However, Grandma wasn't home. Why we didn't just get the box and go back to Love Duck's house is beyond me, but whatever. Anyway, I'm filling the pan with water when Stewi calls Nicole and says she needs to come over and talk to her because she's having a hard time of It (Stewi and I have many of the same issues, except hers are a little enlarged due to the fact that she was almost engaged). So Stewi drove over and Love Duck went outside to talk to her, leaving me alone in a strange house to make lunch. And then the stove started smoking. And little flames started coming out of one of the burners. "Oh my gosh! I just burned Love Duck's grandmother's house down!" (I should mention that this stove looks ancient and it's electric, not gas.) So I'm standing there trying to smother the flames with this burner cover thingy, but the burner cover is too big and the flames are still coming and I'm freaking out, but I couldn't leave the house to go get Love Duck because who KNOWS what would happen then and I didn't know where the fire extinguisher was... Finally, though, the flames disappeared, leaving trails of smoke throughout the house. Love Duck came back in and I started telling her what happened and she goes, "Oh, I did that last week. That's why this thing (the burner cover thingy) looks all ugly now."