Friday, March 14, 2008
As you maybe can see, it’s really late and I should probably be sleeping, but I’m finding that sleep is inevitably escapable right now, so here we get a nice, Serious Blog Post. Yea!
The past week and a half (nearly two weeks, now), has been full of Trying Times and Hard Things (if you don’t know already, please don’t ask; I’m not up for being questioned). It has been anything but fun and I wish it would be over, but I see no ending of Trying Times and Hard Things any time soon, and I figure, despite all my prayers to the contrary, I’m not dead yet so I might as well just suck it up and deal with it.
That’s all just background info to help you make sense of the rest of what I’ve got to say (though it may just confuse you, since it’s so ambiguous in nature, but whatever).
So the other day in Church History we were learning about the administration of
John Taylor. Polygamy had been outlawed by the government but it was still a commandment given by God (and, actually, if you were a Priesthood holder and
not practicing polygamy, you were released from certain leadership callings. Whoa. Intense). The Saints didn’t understand. I mean,
we believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law, right? Can’t blame them for being confused! John Taylor prayed to the Lord for an answer. All he got, though, was something along the lines of “The Saints are in God’s hands and the Nation is in God’s hands. I don’t know the answer.”
I think I understand how he and the Saints felt. Maybe kind of betrayed that God would allow their husbands and leaders to be arrested for obeying a commandment, certainly afraid and confused, and probably hurt, too. But then I guess you have to remember that it was while they were imprisoned that so many of these great men had some of their greatest spiritual experiences. The hardest thing for them was being away from those they loved.
Maybe that is what God is trying to teach me right now. “You are in My hands, and ______ is in My hands. You just have to trust Me that this will work out and remember that at this time in your life, during this trial, you can have some of your greatest spiritual experiences. Trust that I will take care of ______.” (Sorry. Ambiguity and all that. Have to keep it constant.)
I hope this is the hardest thing that I will ever be asked to go through, but somehow I doubt that is the case. Like, seriously. There are going to be things a lot harder that I am going to have to deal with and there will be Hard Times always. Hah. Maybe this is just the good, swift kick that I needed to get myself moving again, to get me to make the changes that I’ve known for a long time that I needed to make, but I was just Not Ready yet (or so I thought). Maybe it was the only thing left that God could think of (short of something
really drastic) to get me to Listen and stop dragging my feet.
“I would rather trust in God than in any other power on Earth.”
--- John Taylor
“Revelation comes on the Lord’s time table, which often means we must move forward in faith, even though we haven’t received all the answers we desire.”
--- Robert D. Hales
“We must get on our knees and plead with the Lord for help and strength and direction. We must then stand on our feet and move forward.”
--- President Gordon B. Hinckley
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”
“Blessings can emerge from heartbreak.”
--- Richard C. Edgley
Many, many thanks to those of you who have loved me, prayed for me, listened to me whine, and counseled me at this time. It has meant a lot.
