Sunday, September 24, 2006
So I've been working on this Svithe that is going to double as an assignment for Creative Writing for a few hours now. I've only got three lines left (it's a sonnet, curse the word) and it's due tomorrow, but I'm not seeing a completion before morning as of yet. Especially since I still have to do my Religion reading because we have a quiz tomorrow. And I'd kind of like to take a nice, long, warm shower to wind down from the day's stresses.
Ever since I moved, Sunday has been a day of stress for me. This should not be, I know! Sunday should be a day of rest (which sort of rhymes with stress), but I have yet to have a restful Sunday in this my new ward (unless you count regional conference, but that wasn't with my ward, so I don't.)
I am trying REALLY hard to like it here. My problem is that it is not the same as it was two years ago, and it's not the same as my last ward. I've found this move to be the hardest of all moves; harder than my FIRST move away from home, even. You see, when I first moved here two years ago, my roommates (all three of them) liked me just because they had no reason not to. I know I got on their nerves, but they were considerate, kind, and offered me the support I needed when I really, really needed it. But with this move back, the roommates aren't very considerate (just look in the cupboards or the fridge and you'll see what I mean), one of them is rarely kind (she was civil to me last time I saw her, though, which is an improvement), and I don't think any of them would support me the way Emm or Kalierly did. They'd probably just tell me I'm stupid and to get over myself. Perhaps I'm not being very fair, but that's how I perceive things. Granted, there has been some improvement. K now speaks to me and smiles at me, and, like I said, Jadis (Ice Queen, but Jadis is shorter) has now been civil with me once, but I still don't feel like they accept me. Noted, that's only two of the three roommates, and I can honestly say that I think Beccers likes me. Or she at least pretends to.
Then there's the ward. I've noticed that the vast majority of the female population in this complex act much the same way towards me as Jadis. I haven't talked to all of them yet (I don't think) but they've got their niches and you'd be daft to try to squeeze into one for even a second. And I shouldn't rag on the bishopric, but they're just not the same as my last bishopric. I don't feel the same love radiating from them, nor the same listening ears. And so tonight, as I skipped out on my own ward prayer in favor of being a visitor at my old ward prayer, I asked my previous Bishop if I could pop into his office sometime and tell him what's going on. Because I really just need someone who will listen to me and give me a chance to explain things the way I see them and not judge me on that. We're thinking tomorrow, but I may have a meeting with my supervisor and the T.A.s under me after class, so I might have to bump my popping to Thursday after lab or, heaven forbid, Friday.
Anyway, this is life. I should expect ups and downs. And I have had a good handful of compensating ups lately, which I may be eternally grateful for! So I say "Thank you" to J-Dawg for the best Friday ever, the same to NTH for hiring me and making me head TA and paying me $8.00 an hour, and "Thank you" to BYU's football team for winning the game. Even if a fight did break out just after half-time.
And, if I get my sonnet done before I go to bed, maybe I'll post it and create a real Svithe.
Behold, the MuseLabels: people, relationships, Religion, School, Svithe
