Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I've lost my antidepressant. I noticed this last night when I realized I had finally managed to get to bed before midnight and could therefor take it. For the past while, this has not been an easy feat and I've noticed a bit of a slip in my attitude, a slip that cannot be explained away and has nothing to do with anything that people with limited experience with depression explain the problem away with. And so now I am not only overly stressed but badly in want of a good blow-up where I can let everything out that I've been bottling up for the past two months, but I can't fix this feeling until I find the dear pills and I'm rather frustrated by the fact. A person just needs to have a good cry sometimes, ya know? And for some ski-wompas reason I'm unable to accomplish this this week. Seems to me that everything looks a lot worse through the "blue" lenses of life. I'd like my rose-colored ones back now, please!
To go along with this... Remember my wall (I'd link you to the svithe, but that requires a certain amount of searching. I believe it was May 7, 2006 or something like that). I'm struggling with not building it back up. And no one's even done anything to betray my trust, but I feel like I have to add a "yet" to a statement like that and that I'd better be prepared now rather than later for disappointment.
Cleaning checks Saturday. This means I get to go through the fridge/freezer and clean the shelves and what have you all on my lonesome. And I get to wash out the sink, but this means people need to stop putting their dishes in there and need to start using the dishwasher. That's what it's there for, after all! Also, I keep forgetting to press F1 when I clock in, so I have to go talk to the department secretary again tomorrow morning (after she specifically told me that I need to press F1 just two days ago) and explain why I'm such a dingbat space brain. Then I need to go find the dean and have werf sign my key card so I can get into the CLFB without issues. And
then I need to go down to the .. umm.. Brewster building to get my closet key replaced as well as the new key issued. All this must occur before 11 am tomorrow. Well, except for the cleaning check bit, of course. Then I get to work for 5 or six hours straight. No lunch for me. Most probably no breakfast, either, but this isn't particularly unusual a situation.
Friday or Saturday I need to take a trip up to Grandparents'. The Grandmother has been ill and so I'm taking her the gift basket I'll be making for lab tomorrow. I suppose it'll be good to see them again, but I always get so bored when I am there and I really haven't a lot to say to them. In fact, I really haven't a lot to say to anyone. But that's beside the point. I've rather been hoping that J-Dawg would give me a call to give me an excuse to not stay long, but he hasn't and, truth be told, there is nothing inside me that allows me to expect him to do so. I've got a gut instinct that says I've scared him away just like I scare every other individual of the male species away.
And that is all. Now time to read an essay and go to bed.
Behold, the MuseLabels: health, Housing, people
